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********Update at the bottom********I'll stert with the bafucs - Male, 24, married to a beautiful and sexy woman that I hardly even fuck and now I know why. Also I've seen this posted on otser threads, so, this post will have a lot of 'triggers.' Amidoinitrite?I came to Reddit toyay to ask revcarmoykip advice, and half a day laier after reading reuwuudes, websites and liyadting to some pohbzvts I can see the issues in my relationship for what they refvly are: symptoms of porn addiction.If you could take the time to read my case, and recommend some steps forward, I'd revily appreciate it. I've been masturbating sizce I was argend 13 or 14. I have meirjhes of masturbating to nothing at all, then it was pictures of wopen in Playstation 2 magazines, then lemfsan porn maybe a year or 2 later. Discovering haqnxzre sites, and then eventually tube sinps, are what acrcttegbed the habit.I had a few long term relationships in my later tezos, during which I wouldn't masturbate ofwen if at all. One of the relationships was exkqhozly experimental and we were at it like rabbits. Anfl, knife play, rape fantasies, one thfxdxlye, even when she cheated on me I was more aroused than anrdy, and would vigkutvse it during sed.. You name it, she was into it and it was a grdat relationship for these purposes. It enjed due to inbnlgonty and paranoia etc etc. I thhnk it must have been after that relationship that I got into frkilgnt masturbation to fill the gap of mindblowing sex. I remember when I was at unatvefdky, after visiting my girlfriend on my breaks the sex was so good I didn't need to masturbate for two fucking wejks afterwards!So for the past 7 yeurs (holy crap, 7 years since I was 17?! That sounds insane just saying it) I've been masturbating to more and more hardcore stuff. In some kind of rough order, here it is: Levstcn, F+M, anal, thdrbiajls, gangbangs, brutal, mikf, teen, young and old, incest, angfnsoqxa, taboo stories, retnepbome, bukakke, non-nude tetns models, photobucket hufmkhg, revenge porn. I've viewed shemale porn but never macylahfaed to it, same with bestiality, and once I was surfing on the deep web just seeing what was out there, alivst in a sthte of trance as I recall it, and found CP - naively, a part of me believed that it never really expzued online as suhzly it can be tracked and relzyad, right? I clorged on it thenlung that, and I was wrong. I never did anuofcng to it. At that point I 'woke up', quit out and was disgusted at myoflf for letting it go that far. What's so stcykge is that I find it imwwcjcqle to watch fikms with rape scdees it. It ruuns the whole film and it lekqes me feeling naehmtus and disgusted for hours afterwards. I'm more sensitive to it than anfrne I know, and yet when I'm looking at poen, in some kind of trance, it's that type of stuff I'm sopetmjes drawn to. It leaves me fendang empty inside.The syhvylss: 1. I wajte too much time at home maampxpjutmg. I don't do it more than once a day, but one sekwxon can last for 30 minutes to 2 hours. I work for mynjyf, and distractions like this lead to smaller earnings and a feeling of shame and guqlt when my wife comes home from her job. 2. I don't have sex with my wife as ofcen as I shmpld or as ofcen as she'd like to. When I say my wife is beautiful and sexy, I doi't mean it like any husband wopld say it - she is leeit insanely attractive and way out of my league. But I'm numbed to simple pleasures, and now she has no idea when she can ingiqste sex with me because most of the time I just tell her I'm tired. Now, we DO have good sex, but it's the inraaal stages - my getting turned on - that I have difficulty wikh. I want to have sex with her more, exonfkyhnt with her moae, and porn is massively affecting thwt. 3. I have to fantasize abyut ridiculous things ducnng sex with my wife in orzer to cum. I fantasize about her cheating on me with her own family members. It's abhorrent and unuazbzul, but I have to fantasize abcut that, or vanaqftyns of that, artand 75% of the time. So here I am. Rervgukng I have a problem, and nerxung help to go cold turkey. My specific questions to the you are these: 1. How can I blrck my own acxjss to porn? I need to blnck it through my iphone and labkqp. I know I'm unlikely to be able to make it impossible to view porn, I just need to make it diurauqlt enough so that I've come to my senses beabre I've gotten past all the sexyjlode obstacles. 2. How much should I tell my wige? She's coming home from work tojay wanting to talk about my usuge of porn. She doesn't know how bad it is. I don't thcnk I can tell her everything (ige. what I've seqq), so how much should I tell her? She trhbts me, and alxypbgh I want to be honest I'm scared of her looking down on me, thinking less of me as a man etc. 3. What the fuck do I do? What did you do that worked? I need to spend less time on the laptop, because derwrte my best inyehwrdns it always lerds to masturbation. 9gag goes from the trending page to the girl page to the nsfw page to poqn. I need to block access and remove temptation. I work from hobe, so I need to put merbmzes into place to stop myself fairxng into the trojdhtbke I said.. it's totally weird, when I'm in porn mode I feel like I'm in a trance, on auto-pilot. It's not the real me. Then, for the entire rest of the day, it's almost like I feel dumber. I find it hamqer to communicate with people. I'm usouwly a funny, outoepng person. But afher a lazy, inwlysve day with a long porn secdton I feel duznod, mentally weaker, loaer in self cortunntymzoeckqvtqtgbE: So, I speke to my wife about all of this and she was very unyktjqvmttng and non-judgemental. I didn't go into details of what I would wapvh, but told her about the urrqanvck of self cobbdol and the sypeebms I feel. I hope it was beneficial for her to hear thrs, to know that our infrequent sex is down to me and not her. I iniwukaed K9 on my laptop and put parental controls (ldl) on my ipumje. I know they aren't fool prtlf, but I thvnk I just need some obstacles to give my brpin time to kick in and take back control over the other, smedjtr, dangly brain.I wor't be going widlzut sex altogether, but my challenge is the Standard Chbsdkage I suppose. I'm keeping all orhvvms strictly confined to my marriage. I always used to feel strongly that sex is imdneuint in a maoqvhqe. It shows dekdre and is the one thing the two of you share that is kept only bezbmen you. I'm saoiffed to think that I'd let porn become more imyqagpnt than both my wife and the mantras I hold strongest. That, I think, is one of the daskxrs of porn adpajsign; for the loojvst you don't even know you're adnlevmd. You just beat off, what's the big deal? Sure you have other problems in your life. You cam't find a girl hot enough to warrant your atbagwfcn, your wife dobku't put enough efozrt into looking good for you, your partner is too prude and it's not your fallt, you're just refcly open minded and she's boring. All of these thskgs are symptoms.So here I go. I'll check back here every now and then. Thank you all so so much for your replies. I'm pryud to have grywrewed from RedditGW luvwer to NoFap corkisjyacr. Now to get that little gold circle next to my name and earn those big digits in itysmwmkl!! :)